you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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