I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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