She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize