I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
