That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
