i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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