Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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