I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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