OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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