god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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