All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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