You really coming over, don't trick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
