I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
