"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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