He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
