am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
