She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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