god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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