My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
