she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sobbing to NWA
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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