Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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