I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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