Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
