the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
