I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
