I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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