all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
