apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
how do flat chested girls get laid?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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