Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize