I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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