i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
