Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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