Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We were destined to go to rehab together
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
