So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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