She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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