Did you just see the Batmobile???
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize