Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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