he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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