umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize