Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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