yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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