Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
