the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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