I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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