So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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