We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
