I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
