If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
