I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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