Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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