i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
