YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
