i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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