Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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