She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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