the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Your cock deserves a montage
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize