at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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