Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
